There has been a lot of talk lately about the word bossy. Specifically there is a new campaign to "banbossy." From corporate America (Sheryl Sandberg of Facebook) to the entertainment industry (Beyonce and Jennifer Garner) to politics (First Lady Michelle Obama and Former Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice), many have signed on to "banbossy." First I read about it in Parade Magazine in my Sunday paper. Then I saw a link to a PSA on Facebook. Then a few friends and colleagues mentioned it. It has taken me more than a week to really sort through the comments I have read and heard and process them.
At first I thought, great, let's ban bossy! Then a friend criticized Beyonce for being a part of the effort because her husband uses equally derogatory words about women in his music. That one really made me think. Then I talked to a colleague about how bossy is used in various settings. As for Beyonce, I don't know anything about her husband's music or her marriage. If he sings in a negative way about women maybe this is just her first step to trying to make a change. Bossy is used in a demeaning way towards girls and women. It is not that I can't handle being called bossy. It's that it is rude and inappropriate. It's that when I am managing or leading I am the boss. My guidance and direction is to be taken and implemented just as it would be from a man.
On the playground when a boy says, "let's set all the balls over here" he is taking charge and helping but when a girl does it she is being bossy. When a girl continually raises her hand to answer questions in class she is a know-it-all while the guy is just smart. When a man says in a meeting "we should save money on this starting today" he is innovative and a problem solver. When a woman says it people walk out mumbling that she is bossy.
I do not think banning the word bossy is going to change the world or create equality in the work place. I do think young women will be positively affected. I hope it might make just one teacher or parent think about the words they are using around children. I do think "banbossy" is a step towards all of us treating one another in a fair, equal, and respectable manner. It's just the nice thing to do.
By: Jennifer Klos, mother of two.
At first I thought, great, let's ban bossy! Then a friend criticized Beyonce for being a part of the effort because her husband uses equally derogatory words about women in his music. That one really made me think. Then I talked to a colleague about how bossy is used in various settings. As for Beyonce, I don't know anything about her husband's music or her marriage. If he sings in a negative way about women maybe this is just her first step to trying to make a change. Bossy is used in a demeaning way towards girls and women. It is not that I can't handle being called bossy. It's that it is rude and inappropriate. It's that when I am managing or leading I am the boss. My guidance and direction is to be taken and implemented just as it would be from a man.
On the playground when a boy says, "let's set all the balls over here" he is taking charge and helping but when a girl does it she is being bossy. When a girl continually raises her hand to answer questions in class she is a know-it-all while the guy is just smart. When a man says in a meeting "we should save money on this starting today" he is innovative and a problem solver. When a woman says it people walk out mumbling that she is bossy.
I do not think banning the word bossy is going to change the world or create equality in the work place. I do think young women will be positively affected. I hope it might make just one teacher or parent think about the words they are using around children. I do think "banbossy" is a step towards all of us treating one another in a fair, equal, and respectable manner. It's just the nice thing to do.
By: Jennifer Klos, mother of two.
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